Simplicity

The weekend went by too quickly. We had Morgan's birthday party on Saturday, and I truly enjoyed spending time with our family and friends. Later that night, Chris and I went to the theater to watch Star Trek. We both enjoyed the movie, as well as our time spent together. I received a call from my little brother Jacob as well. I hadn't heard his voice in such a long time that I almost didn't recognize his voice. I knew my time speaking with him would be brief, therefore, I told him that I loved him and that he was always on my mind. I am satisfied with hearing his voice, and am hopeful that I will hear from him again.

Today I opened my eyes to find a room devoid of the sunshine that I was beginning to become accustomed to. However, I was determined not to allow it to effect my sunny disposition. We went to Toys R Us to purchase a Nintendo DS for Morgan, as she had accumulated enough money from her birthday party. She was thrilled to play her new game. Ayva was sad that she did not acquire any new toys this weekend. With great difficulty, we explained to her that she would receive gifts when it was her birthday. To cheer her up, I played hide-and-seek with her in the house, and allowed the girls to play with their moon sand.

It was an ordinary day, but beautiful nonetheless.

Happy birthday, my darling!

7 years ago today...

I have spent the past few days caring for Morgan. She has been ill with the flu. I had a total of 2 hours of sleep last night because I had to continuously monitor her fever. Today was her birthday. She is now 7 years old. Chris and I gave her four Furbies as her birthday gift. She was elated! Her "Furby themed" party is scheduled for Saturday. I can't believe that it's already been 7 years since she was born. It has been wonderful watching her grow and blossom into a caring, intelligent and curious child. I love everything about her, from the little freckles on her tiny nose to the way she crawls into my bed on the weekend to ask for her special breakfast. I never knew how large a mother's heart could expand in order to make room for the love that is infused when a child is born. How fortunate I am to have her in my life. Time is passing quickly. It pains me to know that she is no longer a baby. However, I am eager to see the woman she will become. I will be there for her every step of the way to guide her when she needs me.



On another note, I spent the majority of the day at the San Fernando Mission, perusing the rooms and the treasures contained within. Sitting in the church pew filled me with a feeling of nostalgia. I remembered visiting the church in my grandmother's village in Mexico when I was a young girl. I recall feeling like a tiny ant, surrounded by walls festooned with brilliant colors and shiny objects. The same was true today, I still felt small among the statues. The art displayed in the rooms was exquisite. I particularly enjoyed the pieces with the Madonna and child. Such profound emotion is not easily conveyed. It takes a skilled artist to express the bond between mother and child.

Our docent was an elderly man with many stories to tell. I was amused by his innocence, and ability to captivate the group. He said that his family had arrived to the United States from Italy, and proceeded to discuss his humble beginnings. He said that it was in the United States when he saw for the first time, a flushing toilet and toilet paper. He explained that upon seeing such an interesting object, he flushed it repeatedly. That day he arrived home with toilet paper that he had taken from the restroom to show to his parents. The church accused him of stealing it, and was consequently spanked by his parents. He confessed that all he was trying to do was show his parents the toilet paper that he believed his parents had never seen before. What an interesting day, full of beauty and stories.

The death of Ego and then some...

What an extremely busy day I had today. I spent the morning at the Olympics for Morgan's school. I met some very nice parents. Bonnie, Jonathan, Zachary and I were in charge of the softball throw area. We worked great together, and had fun in the process. I was able to watch, as Morgan competed in her chosen events. I cherished each moment that I shared with her today.

As soon as I got home, Ayva and I went to Story Time with Mr. Pedro. The books were all about insects. Mr. Pedro walked around the room with a stuffed bumblebee with sparkly wings. All the children wanted to keep touching it. Ayva really enjoyed the book with the pop-up butterflies the best. Once it was over, we went home to eat lunch. Before I knew it, it was time to pick up Morgan from school. From there we went to her swimming classes. I was so proud of the courage she exhibited. It appears that her intestinal fortitude is greater than mine. The moms and I watched as the children accomplished new goals, and looked over at us with a sense of pride. I was video taping like a mad woman in an attempt to preserve what I was seeing. Chris surprised us by coming by to watch. He was happy to see Morgan and her accomplishments.

Later on, I went to meet up with Dr. Chu. We discussed so many topics. We enjoyed really intense conversations about life, purpose, happiness, love, dysfunction, parallel universes, etc. I am amazed at the capacity of the human brain to learn, and acquire new information that increases our wisdom. Once again, I discovered things about myself that had remained dormant for so long. I began piecing together the most delicate fragments of my past, and moved swiftly through the fog of forgotten dreams. There are some things that I can't change, no matter how great my desire is. I need to grieve, before I can accept. I'm at peace with that. I have once again entered a new phase of my life. There are some new players, new roles, and I must adapt accordingly. A new perspective has emerged that will assist me in my ongoing journey toward self-discovery. I am ready for whatever comes my way.

On a humpday

Today I finally learned how to do the Electric Slide. Imagine that, I am almost thirty years old and am just now learning how to do this dance! How does that happen??

I also received Brynn's graduation invitation today. I am extremely proud of her accomplishment. Earning a PhD at the age of 28 is a remarkable feat. Elsa and I will be attending the ceremony together. It will be interesting to be back at UCR after all these years. So much has changed, but our friendship remains in tact. I am looking forward to sharing this special event with two of my favorite people.

How do I measure time?

I had a nice day today. Started the day off by walking Morgan to school. Once we got there, we went "Walking with Mr. Walker." I saw Wesley's mom waiting outside of Morgan's classroom and I invited her and her son over for tea whenever they have the time. Afterward, Ayva, my mom and I headed over to the mall to go shopping. I purchased two new shirts, earrings and a pair of sunglasses. As we walked by the play area, Ayva asked if she could play for a while with the other kids. How could I say no? Ayva had a great time playing, and quickly found a friend to play with. We stopped by McDonald's for lunch before heading home. She wanted to sit at a different table than my mom and I. I allowed her to sit where she wanted, watching her like a hawk of course. I just love little Ayva, she has such an amazing spirit and is sweeter than molasses.

I picked up Morgan after school and then we headed over to her swimming classes. She did great! I am so surprised at how much she loves her swimming classes. The other mothers and I spent the entire time talking to each other like there was no tomorrow! The other moms do not work, and they appear very excited to be out of the house, and talking with other adults. They are very sweet ladies, totally devoted to their children. I think they should every now and then put on some high heels and grab a martini because they totally deserve it. Time elapsed rapidly. Before I knew it, it was time to go home.

As we were driving home Morgan informed me that she was going to receive an award next week. I am so incredibly proud of her. She is such a gifted child. Every day she says things that make me laugh hysterically. She brings home perfect test scores, has the vocabulary of a twenty year-old, and has excellent manners. Most importantly though, she has a heart of gold. I feel so lucky to have her as a child.

Well, that's all for now. I am about to write in my diary before I hit the sack.

I know my A1B2C3's

Last night I was playing Scrabble with Chris. I wanted to use the word "yew" but wasn't completely certain that it was a word in the dictionary. I remembered hearing it somewhere, but didn't know the definition. I decided against using it out of fear that Chris would challenge me. Robin informed me that it was indeed a word, and provided me with the following definition: Any of several poisonous evergreen trees or shrubs of the genus Taxus, having scarlet cup-shaped arils and flat needles that are dark green above and yellowish below. I won the Scrabble game anyway, I always do. :-)

Today was a regular day, nothing particularly exciting. When Chris arrived home from work, he handed me a new chess/backgammon board. He bought it because he said he hates playing with the chess set that my dad gave me. My dad gave it to me last year, he has had it for 30 years. My uncle bought it for him in La Piedad, Michoacan. It is the same chess set that he used to teach my siblings and I to play chess on. I was very surprised that he gave it to me. I suppose he understood that I love the game as much as he does. It is a small, humble set carved out of wood. Yet I think it is beautiful. I hope that my children will one day be as passionate about the game as I am, but I digress...

Up, down and around...

Well, the last few days have been interesting. I was determined to make it out the beach this weekend, so we headed out to Santa Monica. We stopped by the pizza parlor that I used to frequent when I was working at Anita Santiago. While we were eating, the owner came up to us and told us how nice it was to see such a beautiful family. Chris and I looked at each other, his comment seemed somewhat random. We just smiled and nodded our heads. A few minutes later, a transient with a pirate hat cruised by. We wanted to get a picture of him, but he was moving to quickly. After we ate our yummy pizza and guzzled down our cream sodas, we walked down Main Street. For me, it was a walk down memory lane. I remembered how Laura and I would walk to the beach during our lunch hour, head over to Pete's Coffee to buy Jasmine lemonade iced tea, and all of the good times we shared together. It's been three years since those days. Laura is now working on her PhD in Linguistics, and she is living in Brentwood. It's funny how life is, completely random. One minute you think you have it all figured out, and then you embark on a different adventure. Sometimes by choice, but mostly by chance. If I had never gone to work there, I would have never met such a wonderful, intelligent human being. It felt great to be in a familiar place, rich with memories.

On another note, my diary has only 2 more pages left in it. I must buy a new one

Discursive

I have accumulated a lot of sleep debt over the past week. I have been really busy lately as well. Due to my lethargic state, today I will be listing important events:

Morgan started her swimming lessons on Tuesday. She was really excited and happy.

My library books are overdue.

I talked some major shit to the people at the district (I went all the way to the top) because I was unhappy with a worker in the extended care department.

Ate wayyy to much cactus

I am feeling a little agitated today.

My peacock feather earrings arrived.

Morgan's Furbies arrived.

Good night...

Happy Mother's Day to me!

Chris bought me this beautiful painting!!!







Today was a great day!

Chess Night

Ok, so on Wednesday I opted to play chess with Roy rather than watch American Idol. We met up in Whittier at the Coffee Bean. We were blabbing about random stuff, and I was therefore not as focused as I needed to be to win the game. I made careless mistakes because I was experiencing flight of ideas. When the game finally ended, after an hour, I decided I was done for the night. All of a sudden, I noticed that there was a man that looked just like Dave Chappelle standing behind Roy. I quickly whispered to Roy, "Hey, that dude looks just like Dave Chappelle." Roy said, "You are a racist, just because he is black doesn't mean it's him." I said "take a good look, I think it is him." Then he walked right by our table. I said to him, "excuse me sir, but you bear a striking resemblance to Dave Chappelle." When he spoke, I knew for sure it was him. He stood there staring, and talked with us for a brief time. Roy and I looked at each other and laughed, there was Dave Chappelle and we froze! Damn, why didn't I bring my camera!! I texted everyone to share my excitement about my celebrity sighting. After he left, we decided to head on over to the Platypus Gallery to check out the art. I saw a few paintings that I loved. I must say, it was a swell day! However, being around my friend Roy reminded me of what a geek I am. When I told him I was looking into buying a chess shirt he said, "were the chess shirts next to the Dungeons and Dragon shirts?" I knew at that instant, that I had surpassed him in geekdom!! I should probably keep these things on the down low!

Shots, shots and more shots

Today was going to be a hairy day, so Chris and I decided that we would need nourishment to provide us with the energy our bodies would require to make it through the day. Therefore, we headed off to Polly's where we enjoyed a delectable breakfast. I had Belgian waffles (with strawberries and whipped cream!!), scrambled eggs and bacon. After, we headed home to relax outside in the patio and check on the grapevine in our backyard. There was a huge grasshopper hanging out on the fence. I screamed and ran away from it. I asserted that it was a locust, Chris just laughed. I was very happy that he took the day off today and that we could spend the day together.

The mood would soon change. We took Ayva to get her physical. When the doctor informed us that she would be needing 5 shots and have her blood drawn I felt extremely anxious. Ayva was brave, however, once the shots were administered she cried and screamed like a banshee! I felt so helpless. I just held her in my arms and told her that it would be over soon. She said, "mommy, it hurts me...please, no more shots." I was relieved when it was all over.

To reward her for her courage, we took her to Mc Donalds for ice cream. Then we headed home. I made linguini with clams for dinner, we ate, watched American Idol and fringe, and called it a day.

Tis all for now.

Catching up

I was feeling rather blah today. I woke up groggy from all the cold medicine I have been taking. However, once I walked outside and felt the warm weather, my mood improved significantly. I sent Roy an email in an attempt to arrange our chess meeting. I feel terrible that I always promise to meet him, and then don't get back to him until weeks later. I have a habit of doing that to people. It isn't my intention to procrastinate, it just happens. I am actively trying to change that.

I finally met up with Meg this Saturday. After three flippin' years of not seeing her, we finally got together. I promised her that we would make it a point to get together at least once a month. I always enjoy talking to her because she is a good listener. We talked about when we were both in the trenches together at Olive. We reminisced about Chad, The Rock Circus and Gargamel, among other things. We talked about her divorce, life, depression etc. Pretty heavy conversations, but amazing nonetheless.

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I saw something that I wish I hadn't seen. My vulnerabilities were exposed and I felt like a child. I confided my weaknesses to Robin. She is a wise and caring friend. I was hoping to get some feedback regarding my "problem," and she didn't let me down. What she said made me think...really think hard about myself. I thanked her, and I thanked my lucky stars for having met her.

That's about it for now. Tomorrow, I take Ayva to her Physical. Hopefully, all goes well.