The desire to write had escaped me temporarily. Instead, I chose to spend every night this week watching Star Trek movies.
Today, I spent a couple of hours swimming in the morning. I was watching a young woman do the Front Crawl because I admired her gracefulness. It appeared to me as though she was a kind person. I swam over to where she was, and I asked her if she knew how to do
the Butterfly Stroke. I was hoping that she did, so that she could teach me. She smiled and told me that she did not. She went on to inform me that she didn't know how to swim well and that the Front Crawl was the only thing she knew how to do. I told her that she appeared as though she were a very experienced swimmer. We spent about a half hour talking about how incompetent we both feel in the water, and how we wish we were better swimmers. I told her about my pipe dream to one day dive off of the diving board into the 13 feet area. How interesting we human beings are. Full of insecurities, yet covered by the veneer of confidence (sometimes pseudo-confidence). She told me she thought that I was a good swimmer, and that she had been watching me! I laughed and explained to her that I just started my first official swimming lesson on Saturday. We both had a good chuckle. She was a really nice girl, and I hope that we see each other again.
People are our mirrors. They provide us with a reflection of who we are, or at least what we appear to be to others. I appreciate all of the mirrors that surround me, because sometimes I do not know, or remember who I am. Sometimes I think that I am confident, yet there are times when I feel like I am going to explode from the fear that begins to grow inside of me. I remember being afraid to leave my house for extended periods of time because I feared that something terrible would happen to me. However, that was many, many years ago. I have since learned to let go. I have pushed myself to the limit, and forced myself into situations that would have probably caused me to have a panic attack before. I have been reflecting upon the past, and how different I am today. Years pass, and I continue to evolve in ways I never thought possible. I still carry with me some insecurities, flaws and fears, but I don't allow them dictate which direction my life will take. So I continue to look around me. I continue to search for my mirrors, and hope that they will continue to provide me with my reflection.
