at my doorstep...

Although I am aware that death is simply a part of life, when it is at my doorstep, I cannot help but feel as though my heart is being crushed. I found out today that my grandmother is dying, and will probably not make it to Sunday. This woman has provided me with strength and courage during some of my darkest times. I know that for a couple of years now she has been very lonely, and ill. However, I wish that she would stay with us for a little while longer. I went to visit her today. She has not spoken or opened her eyes in a week. I spoke to her, told her that I loved her, brought her up to speed on our lives and read her some verses from the bible. I don't know if she heard me, I hope that she did. I began to remember all of the good times we shared, our conversations, and most importantly, what a good friend she was. I am overwhelmed with feelings of loss. I hope that she passes in peace. I hope that before she takes her final breath, she remembers how many lives she has touched in her 95 years of life.

I will go on living, but I will do so with a broken heart.